Raimy Faere

Ten on Ten :: December 2011

2011-12-10T22:14:00.001-08:00

Ten on Ten :: May 2011

2011-05-11T13:40:00.000-07:00

Ten on Ten :: March 2011

2011-03-10T22:48:00.000-08:00

Amelia's first birthday

2011-03-09T12:27:00.000-08:00

My daughter, the admirable, industrious (that's what her name means), brilliant Amelia Soleil, turned one this past Saturday. I can't quite believe that I am the mother of a one-year-old child, or even that I'm a mother at all, but it's true, as evidenced by the growing number of toys accumulating in my living room and the wet slobbery kisses I get in the morning when daddy brings her into bed. We celebrated with a destination party at Camp Casey on Whidbey Island. Our whole immediate family was there―Bryan, Amelia and me, six grandparents, seven aunts and uncles, a great aunt, and eight cousins under the age of five. It was quite a group, including my sister-in-law and nephews from Hawaii!

Some of us took the ferry over Friday and stayed overnight while some drove up on Saturday and stayed Saturday night, either at the Camp Casey house or at a friend of the Goughs' house down the road. I had borrowed decorations from my crafty creative sisters-in-law for the party―handmade bunting streamers and a beautiful tablecloth from Jenny, a handmade "Happy Birthday" banner from Kristen, and vintage floral coffee pots from Rebekah―and I loved how festive and colorful everything looked.

Everyone went down to the beach to play in the sand (and the water--oops!) and hiked out to the old fort to look around. The sun had come out after a night of rain, and it was a beautiful day.

I would love to say that everything went smoothly and the weekend was a blast, but apparently turning one, teething, and learning how to walk seriously interfere with coping skills, and Amelia had a rough night and, subsequently, a rough day. I am so grateful to my stepmom Stefani, my aunt Peggy, and my mother-in-law Paula for all of their tireless work in the kitchen to feed 27 people two meals, including clean up. They were such a blessing as my time was taken up comforting my struggling baby.

When it was time for the official party, we changed Amelia from her jeans and strawberry-stained top into her beautiful dress from my dear friend Caroline.

I had been saving it for this special occasion.

She made it through singing "Happy Birthday" and taking her first bites of Great Grandma Velma's homemade birthday cake, but by the time she started opening presents she was in full meltdown, arching her back, throwing her head back, and crying pitifully. Bryan opened her presents (with some help from Amelia's cousins) and we whisked her upstairs to calm down while her guests continued to chat and children were changed into pajamas.

Bryan packed up the car and we took our baby home to her own bed, where she had a much better night. Everyone said they had a good time, and it was fun overall, but I think we'll plan future birthdays closer to home.

I wanted to say thank you to everyone who helped or brought something to share, like my mom's famous homemade strawberry cupcakes, and thank you for coming out to the island to celebrate my baby's first birthday. It was definitely memorable.

Christmas reflections

2011-01-15T11:50:00.000-08:00

I realize it's halfway through January at this point, but I've spent the past few weeks reflecting over this recent Christmas season and am now ready to write about it. Where to begin? Well, first of all, I love the holidays. I've been known to start listening to Christmas music in August, although I've toned it down and waited until October this year. I love shopping for people's gifts. I love deciding on a gift wrap theme.

This year in particular, being Amelia's first Christmas and my first as a mother, I was very intentional about choosing meaningful and sustainable traditions that we could say, "We've done this since you were a baby!"

The past few Christmases have been difficult. Since my parents' divorce, the knowledge that Christmas will never again be like it was when I was a kid is overwhelmingly sad. I spent the first two Christmases after the divorce away from my family, and even though both of my parents have remarried and are happy, and I am happy for them, I still get to "the day" and end up feeling deep grief and disappointment. I think perhaps my early and intense holiday spirit is a way to deal with that imminent disappointment: By starting months ahead of time and stretching the holiday season out, I was trying desperately to grasp onto the feeling of Christmas that I had lost. That, however, only makes the disappointment greater.

Now that I am married, I have four families with whom to spend Christmas: Christmas Eve with my Mom, Stepdad, and step-siblings;

Christmas morning at home with our little family;

Christmas Day with my Dad, Stepmom, and step-sisters;

and Boxing Day with Bryan's family.

It's a busy three days, and I was dreading the inevitable let-down that usually accompanies the end of the festivities. On Christmas Eve, standing in my Mom's church listening to everyone around me singing carols, unable to sing myself because I was choking back tears, I was struck by a thought: What if Satan is using my sorrow against me, to rob me of worship and joy? Why should I let that happen? Almost instantly, I felt better. I started singing and was able to be present and truly enjoy my time with my family over the next three days. When it was all over I felt like I was glowing and experienced relief rather than disappointment. For the first time in years, I was ready to take down the decorations instead of trying to cling to the last vestiges of the season.

This newfound freedom has brought other advantages. Along with finally emptying our living room of all the miscellaneous boxes that have been plaguing my eyes and mind for the past year, the relief from Christmas has opened up space in my brain to be hospitable, loving, and creative. At the first meeting of my writing group after Christmas, I was able to let go of my perfectionist self-editing tendencies and just write something freely. A huge weight had been lifted from me. I was unhindered and unselfconscious. It was such a gift. I hope to make serious writing part of 2011.

Speaking of gifts, Bryan surprised me with the pewter grey velvet tufted headboard I had been wanting but never expecting.

Now our bedroom is a beautiful place, the last room in the house to receive any creative direction. I go in there sometimes during the day just to look at it and I feel giddy at how much I love it. My favorite part of the morning is making the bed (well, that and my first cup of coffee. And playing with Amelia of course). I am so thankful for my family, for my home, and for the freedom Christ brings, even in small things.

I have been hesitant to post to this blog lately, feeling shy about putting my thoughts out into the universe. But this Christmas was such a breakthrough for me that I wanted to share my experience. I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas.

Ten on Ten :: January 2011

2011-01-10T23:36:00.000-08:00

Decking the condo

2010-12-05T21:01:00.000-08:00

A weekend in the mountains (A.K.A. Amelia looking cute in winter gear)

2010-12-05T20:29:00.000-08:00

Counting my blessings :: Day 24

2010-11-24T22:54:00.000-08:00

Counting my blessings :: Day 23

2010-11-23T21:11:00.000-08:00

Counting my blessings :: Day 22

2010-11-22T22:48:00.000-08:00

Counting my blessings :: Day 21

2010-11-21T11:54:00.001-08:00

Counting my blessings :: Day 16

2010-11-16T11:52:00.000-08:00

Counting my blessings :: Day 14

2010-11-14T10:47:00.000-08:00

Counting my blessings :: Day 13

2010-11-13T20:33:00.000-08:00

Counting my blessings :: Day 12

2010-11-12T13:48:00.000-08:00

Counting my blessings :: Day 11

2010-11-11T16:07:00.000-08:00

Ten on Ten :: Counting my blessings :: Day 10

2010-11-10T16:02:00.000-08:00

Counting my blessings :: Day 09

2010-11-09T23:21:00.000-08:00

Counting my blessings :: Day 08

2010-11-08T22:27:00.000-08:00

Counting my blessings :: Day 07

2010-11-07T17:50:00.000-08:00

Counting my blessings :: Day 06

2010-11-06T21:42:00.000-07:00

Counting my blessings :: Day 05

2010-11-05T22:14:00.000-07:00

Counting my blessings :: Day 04

2010-11-04T20:03:00.001-07:00

Counting my blessings :: Day 03

2010-11-03T20:02:00.000-07:00

Counting my blessings :: Day 02

2010-11-02T20:01:00.000-07:00

Counting my blessings :: Day 01

2010-11-01T18:53:00.000-07:00

Amelia's first Halloween

2010-11-01T10:37:00.001-07:00

Ten on Ten :: at 10:00 a.m. :: on 10.10.10 :: Fall Colors

2010-10-10T10:59:00.000-07:00

My Treasury made the front page on Etsy!

2010-09-26T20:49:00.000-07:00

I made an Etsy treasury and it was featured on the front page! Bryan had a hard time understanding why I got so excited about this, but any Etsy lovers out there might get it. You handpick 16 items from different Etsy sellers, preferably with a theme, and make what's called a treasury. Several times a day, a new one is chosen for the front page. I got home from dinner, refreshed my Etsy page, and there, for all the world to see, was my Sherlock Holmes-inspired treasury. Here are some of the comments:

It might seem silly, but right now it's a source of creativity for me during Amelia's naps, and I am thrilled!

Cheerio experiment

2010-09-22T22:29:00.000-07:00

I put a handful of Cheerios on Amelia's high chair tray today to see if she would eat them. She could get them in her hands but never quite got them into her mouth, as you can see. I think she had fun, though, and I sure enjoyed watching her little fingers trying to pick up those tiny o's.

Ten on Ten :: September 2010

2010-09-11T09:18:00.000-07:00

Just some cute recent pictures of my baby

2010-08-27T09:15:00.000-07:00

Ra, Na, Em: Together again

2010-08-26T11:22:00.000-07:00

For one magical day, my brother and sister and I were in the same place. Usually, I am the only one here, but Emily was home from school in LA and Nathan is in town on leave before he and his family are stationed in Hawaii. The day after they arrived, Emily had to fly back to California, but we had fun while she was here.

First, we had brunch at my mom's place, where Nathan met Amelia for the first time, and we hugged and snuggled on the couch and talked about our childhoods.

Then we had dinner at my dad's house, where Nathan and his family met Bryan for the first time, and we met his younger son Landon, who was born one day before Amelia, and who is much heavier than Amelia. I saw my older nephew, Ayden, who is four years old now. I haven't seen him since he was two! He is hilarious, loves to tell jokes and laugh uproariously. We ended the night with a campfire and s'mores, and it started to sprinkle on the roof of the deck. It was a cozy way to spend the evening.

Yesterday, we took a ferry ride to Kingston to have lunch and ice cream. It was a beautiful day and we had fun together as a family. It was fun to see the cousins all together. I love days like this.

Ten on Ten :: August 2010

2010-08-10T21:59:00.000-07:00

Grandma Velma's 90th birthday party

2010-07-27T12:11:00.000-07:00

It was a beautiful day for a birthday party, and dozens of family and friends came to celebrate Grandma Velma and her 90 years on earth. She has influenced so many people and loves everyone in such a sweet and genuine way. We love you Velma! Happy birthday!

Sitting in her high chair watching all the world go by

2010-07-26T11:54:00.000-07:00

Baby Samuel is here!

2010-07-25T10:42:00.000-07:00

Mark and Katie welcomed their second son, Samuel Robert, late Thursday night. We got to go visit the little one Friday. He's such a cutie, and immediately reminded me of big brother Isaiah. Congratulations to the family of four!

The proud mama staring at her baby boy.

I think the pressure finally got to Mark and he cracked.

A day on the coast with the Birzers

2010-07-22T13:12:00.000-07:00

Brad and Dedra Birzer are husband and wife. They were both my history professors in college in Michigan, and we have remained close friends over the eleven years that I have known them. They have six children, and I attended the first birthday party of their oldest, Nathaniel, who is now 11 years old. They have added Gretchen, 9, Maria Grace, 7, Harry, 5, Cecilia Rose (RIP), and John, 1.

This summer, they packed the kids in the van and headed cross country, following the Lewis and Clark trail, stopping at important sites along the way, such as Fort Mandan in North Dakota, Great Falls, Montana, and most importantly for my story, Cape Disappointment and Fort Clatsop on the Washington and Oregon coasts, respectively. On this last leg of the westward journey, Brad was traveling with a group of secondary teachers and leading discussions on Manifest Destiny.

Tuesday night, my friend Amanda, also a Birzer student, Amelia and I drove down to Seaside, Oregon. We spent all day Wednesday with the Birzers: the morning on the beach with Dedra and the kids, as seen below; the afternoon added Brad and trips up to Cape Disappointment and back down to Fort Clatsop before dinner with all ten of us.

Nathaniel is turning into a fine young man, somewhat serious and studious. Gretchen is a beautiful, beaming, lovely young lady, very kind and gentle. Maria Grace is inquisitive and loved playing with Amelia. Harry is very affectionate and vivacious: He came up to me and gave me a big hug every few minutes, and wanted to touch Amelia all the time. John is adorable and sweet.

It was so good to see the Birzers, meet John, the youngest, introduce them to Amelia, and fellowship with some of the finest people on the planet. I hope the next few years, and the rest of our lives, include many more days like this. Brad and Dedra, I love you and your children and loved seeing you. Thank you for sharing the day with us.

Gretchen found a sand dollar on the beach.

It kind of looks like Amelia is giving a gang sign.

This man riding along on the beach just struck me as funny.

This was Amanda's first time to the ocean.

Even though the water was too cold to swim, Harry really wanted to try on the snorkel gear.

Nathaniel busied himself building a sand castle and moat.

It's too bad Amanda's first ocean experience was so cold. But then, this is Oregon, not southern California.

I was holding Amelia and the camera, so these close-ups look a little distorted, but they're funny.

I don't have many photos of Amelia and me, so Amanda was kind enough to take a few.

This is the view from the interpretive center at Cape Disappointment.

Maria Grace worked hard to finish her Junior Ranger packet.

The beautiful Astoria Megler bridge. I love it.

Fort Clatsop, where Lewis and Clark spent their last winter before returning east.

Nathaniel, Maria Grace and Gretchen took the Junior Ranger oath after completing the requirements. They earned certificates and badges, and the ranger announced their accomplishments over the loud speaker and everyone applauded them.

Another college friend from Seattle, John Barnes, couldn't make it, so we took this picture in his honor. John, if you're reading this, that's for you.

After a wonderful day, Amanda, Amelia and I still had to drive all the way home to Seattle, but this was our view for a good part of the trip.

Clarence, Keri and True come to visit!

2010-07-20T11:03:00.000-07:00

Bryan's childhood friend Clarence, his wife Keri, and their three-month-old son True came to visit from Boston. Both of their families live here, so they were pretty busy showing off the baby, but we got to spend the afternoon with them yesterday at Scott and Bri's house, which was so gracious of them to host. Clarence grew up hanging out at Grandma Velma's house, so we stopped by to see her as well. I think she was in heaven loving on our two babies.

It was fun to see these two as proud daddies with their children. How fun that both of their firstborns are only three weeks apart. True is a real cutie.

Keri is a radiant mama, and so obviously loves her little guy. Here's the happy family with Clarence's niece Alana.

I couldn't resist this series of Amelia. She made some pretty funny faces.

It was so good to see the Smiths and meet True. They have promised they'll be out to visit a few times a year. We can't wait to see them again!

A good week

2010-07-16T18:18:00.000-07:00

Amelia and I packed our social calendar this week. Because of that, I'm learning that she seems to really enjoy being out and about during the day rather than hanging out at home. We need those down days, too, but it's good to know that she likes to go on adventures.

Monday, Jenny invited us over, and she ended up giving me an impromptu crochet lesson. I started this little number. It's called Edwardian Fancy. I'm starting to get the hang of it. Jenny is an incredibly patient and gracious teacher.

Tuesday, we met Jaymie, Eli, and Ben at Green Lake. We walked the lake (the kids did great), and ended with a picnic lunch in the grass. It was a refreshingly cool day, and it was wonderful to spend time with Jaymie. I don't have any pictures of her because we were too busy talking the whole time.

Wednesday, Mandy and Leta picked us up for a ferry ride to Kingston. We walked on and explored the tiny main street, ate lunch in the grass, and got ice cream. On the way back, Leta kept herself completely occupied playing with her Buzz Lightyear and Woody action figures. She's pretty cute. It was such a beautiful day, and Mandy and I kept saying how lucky we are to live in this part of the world.

Thursday, we went to see Katie. In a bold and rare move, Isaiah got down to snuggle with Amelia. It's good practice for when his baby brother Samuel comes along, which will be any day now! The mommy-of-two-to-be was in good spirits. We walked down to Market Street for Indian food, a possible labor inducer.

Thursday afternoon, I went back to Jenny's because she had graciously offered to watch Amelia so Bryan and I could go on a date. We ended up going to Picolino's in Ballard. The food was delicious, and two of the employees were Bryan's former students. The table of women next to us heard that Bryan taught at Whitman, and they said they had gone to Whitman in the '80s. Bryan said he was not there at the time. After dinner we stopped by Sunset Hill Park, where we got engaged, and watched the sailboats racing at sunset. It was a great evening. Thanks Jenny!

Today, I baked my first loaf of bread! Mandy and Kristen had posted about baking their own bread, and I've been wanting to try it. Mandy suggested I buy the book Artisan Bread in Five Minutes a Day. So I did. It turned out so great on my first try, which is probably a combination of beginner's luck and utilizing the advice Mandy gave me. It tasted delicious dipped in butter and honey. I just keep going back and slicing off a piece. It's like candy.

We also picked up Bryan and met Scott, Bri, and Will for lunch at Round Table Pizza in Issaquah, Bryan's favorite. Then this afternoon, after Amelia's nap, we headed to the Phinney farmer's market and picked out some fresh produce, eggs, cheese, and even a whole chicken! I can't wait to taste the local-ness.

Tomorrow we're heading to Deception Pass State Park for a field trip. I'm loving these long summer days, and yes, I'm loving the sunshine, even though I'm a grey and cloudy kind of girl.

Ten on Ten :: July 2010

2010-07-10T22:19:00.000-07:00

Father's Day

2010-06-25T12:03:00.000-07:00

Technically, this was Bryan's second Father's Day, since it was the day before Father's Day last year that we found out I was pregnant. The next day at church, a couple people wished Bryan a happy Father's Day, not knowing, but we knew, and looked at each other and smiled to ourselves. We had planned to wait a few weeks to tell people, after a visit to the doctor to confirm, but by Tuesday we couldn't contain ourselves anymore and told everyone in the family. We didn't know at the time that our baby was a girl, but God knew that our sweet daughter Amelia was on her way to change our lives forever.

For her first Father's Day outside of the womb, Amelia decided to get Bryan the movie Tron. She and her dad are very excited for Tron 2 to come out in theatres soon. We had a French toast breakfast, watched some World Cup soccer, and went to church, where a photo of us when Amelia was nine days old was featured in the slide show.

After church we had lunch with my Dad. He's pretty smitten with his granddaughter!

In the evening, we had dinner with the Goughs at Jeff and Jenny's house, celebrating Father's Day with Steve, Jenny's dad Joe, and all the brothers. It was a busy day, but so good to celebrate the important men in our lives.

And they are important, especially their influence on daughters. I'm reading the book "Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters" by Dr. Meg Meeker, and she emphasizes the inestimable power fathers have to shape their daughters' lives. It's good stuff. I am thankful for my dad, and thankful that Bryan is Amelia's dad. We're in good hands.

Amelia slideshow

2010-06-25T10:52:00.000-07:00

My dear friend and college roommate Caroline took pictures of Amelia this week in her photo studio in Astoria.

Arizona: Days 2-10

2010-06-14T21:46:00.000-07:00

We had such a great time visiting the Hinsons and my family in Arizona. Melissa was such a gracious hostess, and the kids were great with a baby in the house. We went swimming everyday, ate good food, and had a great time. I saw a childhood friend and my extended family in Tucson. Amelia was beloved by all.

Day 2: Lounging and more swimming.

Isaac was enamored with Amelia, and asked where she was whenever she was napping.

Amelie did a great job taking care of Amelia and giving us a break.

Cute swimsuit #2.

I love this picture of Amelia and her daddy.

Day 3: Amelia finds her thumb.

Day 6: We went to Eli's flag football game in the evening. The weather was great, and his team won their game ender and had an undefeated season.

Day 7: It was Ten on Ten, so I had my camera out all day. Also, my friend Tiffany and her family drove out to see me and meet Bryan and Amelia. We had a BBQ and I met her husband and daughters.

Melissa had fun playing with Amelia.

My friend Tiffany and I went to church together from Kindergarten through high school. It was so good to see her and her family.

John was the grillmaster.

This is Tiffany's nine-month-old daughter Malia.

This is Tiffany's husband Casey and three-year-old daughter Marlee.

Day 8: We picked my sister Emily up at the airport and headed to Tucson to visit my Grandma, aunts, uncles, and cousins.

That peak in the distance is Picacho Peak, and one of the landmarks we watched for as kids to know how much longer we had until we were at Grandma's house.

The pecan orchards are across the highway from Picacho Peak, and another landmark.

Picacho Peak close up.

My sister Emily drew a design on this puzzle as my cousins Miles, 12, and Jack, 9, looked on.

My Grandma loved spending time with her great-granddaughter.

My uncle Jeff had fun with his great-niece.

Ten on Ten :: June 2010

2010-06-10T22:10:00.000-07:00

Arizona: Day 1

2010-06-05T13:06:00.000-07:00

Amelia did pretty well on the plane. She was very tired, so she cried until Bryan got her to sleep. The flight wasn't full, so they gave us an extra seat for her car seat, but she didn't spend much time in it. Fortunately, it was less than a two-and-a-half hour flight so we were off the plane before we knew it. John and Melissa met us at the airport with Chick-Fil-A sandwiches and cold water. Not long after we arrived at their house, we were in the pool.

Amelia seemed to love the water. She didn't cry or even really seem surprised when we took her in the pool. And she looked super cute in her swimsuit and sun hat.

Bryan made a nice little shaded area for the beer.

John played with the baby float toy more than anyone else.

Lounging after a nice swim.

Daddy from Amelia's perspective.

Amelie, Melissa and I hung out in the hot tub while Bryan, John and Eli played with Amelia. It was pretty cute.

Sitting pretty

2010-05-31T11:44:00.000-07:00

No, she can't sit on her own yet, but she looks pretty cute in her Bumbo seat. We pulled it out of the closet to see if she would fit in it yet, and alas! She does.

My baby is a little girl!

2010-05-30T15:40:00.000-07:00

May 30 and it's still rainy and cool. We went to the Ballard Farmers Market this morning and bundled Amelia up in this cute hat. She's starting to look like a little girl instead of a baby, and I found myself looking forward to when she can walk and talk and interact a little more. I definitely love the baby stage, but I can't keep her from growing up. No rush, though, kiddo!

Our first anniversary, and a wedding retrospective

2010-05-24T14:36:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was our one year wedding anniversary. I woke up to sunflowers, French toast breakfast, and a poem Bryan wrote. We lazed around in our pjs and looked through all of our wedding photos on the CD our photographer gave us to choose the 75 we want in our album. In the afternoon we drove out to Carnation to buy a jogging stroller Bryan found on Craigslist since we are considering running a 5k together. We stopped by Remlinger Farms and bought a strawberry-rhubarb pie and some honey raspberry wine. Then we stopped at Snoqualmie Falls, which I had never seen. After that we had dinner in North Bend, then drove to Steve and Paula's house to enjoy some wedding cake that they had kept in the freezer for the past year. It still tasted amazing! I think, for the first time, it seemed like we were a real little family, doing family things. It was such a fun day.

The night before, Bryan took me on a date to Boat Street Cafe and then to the opera to see "Amelia." The overriding theme of the opera is "Love is worth the risk," and deals with pregnant Amelia's fear of bringing a child into a world of pain and loss. It was particularly poignant for me, having just given birth to my own daughter. Needless to say, I cried several times, and couldn't wait to get home and see my Amelia.

Looking through our wedding photos yesterday just made me remember and love the day all over again. So many of our friends and family were able to be there, the weather was beautiful, the venue and flowers and food were great, the music and dancing were lively, and I got to become the wife of, in my opinion, the most incredible man on the planet. Here's a glimpse at the happiness of May 23, 2009.

A year ago on this day

2010-05-21T13:33:00.000-07:00

On this day last year, I was preparing for our wedding day. I wasn't really blogging last year, except Ten on Ten, so I thought I would do some now. My Grandma was in town from Tucson, and I picked up my college roommate Laura from the airport. I had been in her wedding in New York six months earlier. The flowers arrived that day, and Rebekah had been bringing me sweet little treats every day that week, like a Burt's Bees starter kit and a Trophy Cupcake. My sister arranged to have my bachelorette party at The Melting Pot that evening, where I got a parking ticket because the meter was broken and it was 5:45, 15 minutes before parking is free, so I figured I was safe. One of my bridesmaids, another college roommate, Caroline, couldn't make it, so she called the restaurant and bought us all coffee drinks. Afterward, Katie Drovdahl hosted a girls get-together where everyone wrote words of wisdom for me in a notebook, and Jenny prayed that I would get pregnant on the honeymoon. It had been a whirlwind month of activity, and it was all coming to its apex. I was pretty stressed out, but so excited to be marrying Bryan. A lot has changed in the 365 days since. I am a lucky woman.

Emily and I made breakfast for my Grandma.

My Grandma Marilyn and me.

Husband, father, teacher

2010-05-20T11:31:00.000-07:00

Last night while Amelia slept soundly in her room, Bryan and I worked on our laptops, he getting ready to teach a drawing class for Bethany Arts College tonight, and I putting together a collage of furniture photos for the Aurora Sharehouse inspiration board. I was working in Photoshop and having trouble, and Bryan would hear me sigh in frustration and ask how he could help even before I said anything. He loves to teach, and he is so patient and willing and I think maybe enjoys that I need him.

I am so glad Bryan is Amelia's father. She is (I hope) going to grow to love learning and have such a special relationship with her Dad. I'm sure he'll teach her to draw, to play guitar, to hike and climb and ski, to kick a soccer ball, to think logically, to love reading, to love people, and most importantly, he'll teach her that she is a beautiful, valuable person, beloved by her parents and by God.

Bryan's message for today, written in sunshine.

Thoughts on (nearly) a year of marriage

2010-05-19T11:05:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I stopped by Sunset Hill Park, where Bryan and I had our first kiss and where he asked me to be his wife. I hadn't been there in quite a while, and even though the fog and mist obscured much of the view, it was still a beautiful, peaceful sight. I suppose marriage and children are the logical outcome of falling in love, but I am still amazed by my life and the joy I experience every day. Our one year anniversary is on Sunday. It feels like it has been much longer than that, and not in a bad way. My love for and connection to Bryan feels like something ancient. I trust him implicitly, feel safe and cared for, heard and understood, loved and cherished, like he's known me forever. My life has not always been so joyful or hopeful. The way God has redeemed my story, through his tireless pursuing of me, and then through the gift of my husband and daughter, is testimony to His goodness.

And then we have this little creature, who came from both of us and yet is her own person. What a gift! Bryan loves her so unabashedly. When he loves her, he also loves me. When he loves me, he also loves her. It's such a beautiful thing. Sometimes I'm almost afraid to thank God for these gifts because I don't want to jinx it, like if I put into words how grateful I am it will disappear. That sounds silly when I write it. Thank you God for my family! I am blessed beyond measure. Help me be a blessing to others. Amen.

Bryan left me another message this morning. Isn't he great?

I love my husband

2010-05-18T09:04:00.000-07:00

When Amelia wakes up for the morning, usually around 6:00, Bryan invariably gets up with her and lets me sleep until she needs to eat again. He does schoolwork and hangs out with his daughter in the morning and still manages to find energy to ride his bike to work, work all day, and ride home, then do more schoolwork and spend time with his family. And then he thinks to do something so sweet, like leaving me a note in letter tiles on the table where I check my e-mail every morning. It doesn't get much better than this.

Amelia's dedication

2010-05-17T16:46:00.001-07:00

So, I guess we're locked into this whole "Christian" thing now that we've dedicated ourselves to raising our daughter in a godly way. =) Seriously, though, what a great day. We shared the stage with my brother- and sister-in-law Jeff and Jenny and their son Wesley, and our friends Ryan and Katie and their daughter Molly. Richard asked us how we picked our children's names, and then talked about how dedication comes from Hannah's prayer to God for a child, and her offering up of that child back to God. We know Amelia doesn't belong to us, but that we are stewards of her care on earth. Even so, since becoming a mother, I have experienced the most intense and profound love for this little girl. And yet God's love for us is even more. What a blessing!

It was fun to have so much of our family there to support and witness this event. I don't know if it was that or sitting in the front row closer to the music or both, but I felt God's presence so strongly. What a joy and relief to know we all share something as beautiful as intimacy with Christ.

It must have been a bit of an exhausting day for Amelia, because she slept eight hours straight without waking up or eating, and I jumped out of bed in a panic at 4:00am when I hadn't heard her yet. I'm trying not to get my hopes up that this will become the norm, but I'm proud of my little ladybug, and looking forward to seeing who God made her to be!

Sunny day at Carkeek Park

2010-05-13T15:43:00.000-07:00

My first Mother's Day

2010-05-10T21:06:00.000-07:00

I hope everyone had a wonderful Mother's Day. It's a holiday I've always tried to put thought into for my own mom, but now that I am a mother myself, it has, of course, taken on new significance. Mother's Day started early for me. Amelia got me this handmade ceramic hanging fruit basket from Etsy, and it came a few days ago. Nine weeks old and she's already so thoughtful. Bryan made me breakfast and cleaned the kitchen. It was so fun to be spoiled.

After church, we met my Mom and Darrel for lunch at The Keg in Lynnwood. Amelia was a hit with all of my old co-workers.

After lunch, we met up with Steve and Paula and Velma at Jeff and Jenny's house. It was so warm and sunny outside, and the light was perfect for pictures. The guys went grocery shopping, and came back and barbecued some steak and brats and asparagus. They also brought us some dessert treats.

After we got home and picked up the mail from Saturday, Bryan nonchalantly handed me this brochure for the world premiere of a new opera called "Amelia" at Seattle Opera. I opened it to find a pair of tickets inside for May 22, the night before our one year wedding anniversary. I used to attend the opera all the time for work but haven't been in ages. I'm excited to go again, and what an appropriate one to see!

Overall, it was a lovely day, full of family, sunshine, good food, and feeling special. Happy Mother's Day!

Ten on Ten :: May 2010

2010-05-10T19:32:00.000-07:00

The joys of new motherhood: a response

2010-05-01T14:01:00.000-07:00

My sister-in-law Kristen posted a blog about the joys of being a new parent to address the fact that many parents-to-be are only warned about how difficult it will be. Being a new parent myself, I can definitely attest to being nervous about how I would handle sleep deprivation and being totally responsible for this tiny new life. Amelia is eight weeks old now, and of course there have been challenges, but I have loved being a mommy to my baby. Even the hard stuff hasn't really seemed hard. You just kind of do it, and it's love.

Time is flying by, it seems. Amelia is growing so much, and already looks very different from when she was born. Several people (strangers) have recently asked Bryan and I if she is five months old. I know she's growing, but she's not that big!

I love my little bug, and while I don't really want her to change any more, I'm excited to watch who she becomes. She is already growing into herself, and she's beautiful.

Ten on Ten :: April 2010

2010-04-10T21:06:00.000-07:00

Just lying around

2010-03-26T17:28:00.000-07:00

Amelia in green for St. Patrick's day, wearing the onesie Aunt Rebekah made her and lying on the nursing apron Aunt Jenny made.

Amelia in the cute Etsy birdie onesie that Lindsey gave her.

Amelia looking adorable in the LovedBaby dress that Grace gave her and the cute Etsy booties from Aunt Rebekah.

One week down, 4,107 to go

2010-03-15T14:21:00.000-07:00

Well, Bryan and I have survived a week at home with Amelia. Today is the first day I am alone, since Bryan went back to work. Right now, my baby girl is snuggled in the Moby wrap and sleeping on my chest. How cool is that?

We took her to the pediatrician today for her second visit, and she's gained almost a pound in less than a week! She's eating like a champ, and the doctor said she's totally perfect (but we already knew that).

We've had lots of visitors and a couple of outings. These photos are from the past few days.

Is that a wink?

I think Bryan is looking at her funny because she just filled her diaper.

Two of Amelia's aunties stopped by to spend time with her.

Here's the new outfit Grandma and Grandpa Gough gave her. Flower child!

When I put her in the Moby she just looked up at me for a while before falling asleep.

She melts my heart. Last night I was watching her sleep, and I just started crying thinking about the pain she will experience in this life. She'll have joyful times, too, but life is rough sometimes. Having children is a bit of a double-edge sword, I think. But I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Like mother, like daughter

2010-03-11T15:28:00.000-08:00

Ten on Ten :: March 2010

2010-03-10T21:52:00.000-08:00

Day 5: Sweet Pea

2010-03-09T11:28:00.001-08:00

Happy Birthday Amelia!

2010-03-08T13:43:00.000-08:00

Dining room happiness

2010-02-26T15:20:00.000-08:00

My new dining room table and chairs arrived on Tuesday, and after I finished painting the walls, we assembled them.

I am loving having this little corner by the window to check my e-mail, drink coffee, eat dinner, etc. On a clear day, you can see the mountains from here, and on a rainy day, like today, the grey skies and rain-streaked glass are calming.

We also found this desk and hutch on Craigslist, and picked them up on Wednesday night. This is Bryan's art center for school work.

All that's left to do is get the rest of our stuff organized and put in storage or given to Goodwill. Well, that and install ceiling fans, baseboards, and crown moulding, paint the hallway ...

So, I painted the bathroom after all...

2010-02-25T17:12:00.000-08:00

I primed and painted the cabinets, too, and I hung this little "A" hook for Amelia's towel.

I love it! Best of all, so does Bryan. I also finished painting the dining room but it needs another coat. Maybe tomorrow.